The Very Thought of You
by Libby24
Summary: When Juliet is shot on the job, she experiences amnesia and is unable to remember most of the people in her life. Shawn is there to pick up the pieces, but where will it leave them? Shules eventually. Rating may go up, not sure. Enjoy.
1. Engaged?

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych or any of the characters there-in although the plot is all my own! Please read and review.

-Libby

The Very Thought of You

'I wish I had worn the shorter heels today' was the current thought running through my head as I sprinted after the main suspect in my latest homicide case. 'God, these shoes are killing me!' I thought, my knees started to buckle and my lungs burned, not used to this much intense running in a very long while. If the perp didn't slow down, I'd have to shoot his leg, forcing him to stop; I couldn't keep up much longer. Those were my last thoughts before I heard a shot and saw black.

'Ohh, my head kills' I thought with my eyes closed. I tried to sit upright but I felt bile rising up my throat before I even made it part-way up. 'Well,' I thought, 'I guess I'm gonna be lying down for awhile.' When I finally opened my eyes, I was slightly surprised at what I saw. There were white walls all around me and I could smell the sickening odor of disinfectant. "Okay, I'm definitely in a hospital of some kind." I said aloud testing out my voice, it sounded scratchy and rough. I must have been out for sometime. Before I knew what was happening someone rushed over to me and called out for a doctor. I winced at the loud sounds coming out of his mouth. When I looked to my right I could just make out a young man in his mid to late twenties wearing a rumpled tee-shirt and jeans. The stubble on his face showed that he hadn't shaved in a few days.

"Jules, you're okay!" He said to me, excitedly reaching for my hand; his eyes held a look of relief. I racked my throbbing brain for any indication of who this (cute) person could be, but I came up blank. Before I could ask him who he was, a doctor came in to check my vitals.

"How are you feeling Ms. O'Hara?" A doctor with kind dark green eyes asked me, looking at my chart.

"My brain hurts," I told him truthfully, "and I can't remember anything. What happened? Why am I here?" The doctor gave the other man a small look that I managed to catch. "What?" I asked seriously. "Who am I, and what am I doing here?"

The doctor looked back at the young man again before answering, "Your name is Juliet O'Hara and you are a Detective for the Santa Barbra Police Department. You're certain you can't remember anything?" he asked, as if I would be lying to him.

I closed my eyes and thought until it hurt my head even more. "No, I'm sure I can't remember anything." I tossed the name Juliet through my head a few times but it didn't even sound vaguely familiar. "You're sure my name's Juliet?" I asked, "It doesn't sound familiar at all." I was starting to feel overwhelmed by everything, as I watched the young man with the wrinkled shirt pull the doctor aside before turning to talk to me.

"Jules, you don't remember chasing that creep down the pier?" The young man asked me quietly all the while looking as confused as I felt.

"No, I don't and I'm sorry to seem rude, but who are you?" I asked him. I regretted asking the question as soon as it left my lips; his face fell in a way I couldn't understand until he replied.

He rubbed his hand over his face as if debating whether or not to tell me the full truth. "Jules, I'm Shawn, your fiancé." His eyes showed the inner hurt he must have been feeling but he tried to cover up his feelings as fast as he could when Dr. Green Eyes ushered him outside.

I looked over to my left hand and saw a beautiful diamond ring on my ring finger but it didn't bring back any memories; instead it paved the way for an onslaught of new questions. I didn't realize I was weeping until I reached up to rub my eye and felt the wetness staining my cheeks. 'How could I not know who I am? What happened to me?' I thought, determined to get some answers.

TBC Next chapter due soon, please review, I live for constructive criticism. Thanks!! -L.


	2. Dr Green Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych or any of the characters there-in also the title is from a Nat King Cole song by the same name although the plot is all my own! Please read and review.

PS This chapter is dedicated to Nyxelestia, the only person to send me a review. Thanks!!

-Libby

The Very Thought of You

I managed to pull myself up into a sitting position and waited for my head to stop spinning before I opened my eyes. Dr. Green Eyes and "Shawn" walked back in shortly after. "Okay, I want some answers, and I want them now." I said harshly, reaching up to scratch an itch near my hairline before realizing I was touching a bandage wrapped around my head.

"From what we've gathered Ms. O'Hara, you were in pursuit of a suspect in a homicide when the suspect turned and shot you. The bullet wound just grazed your forehead, you were very lucky." Dr. Green Eyes explained. I waited silently for the 'but' which I knew was about to follow, "but, I'm afraid you are suffering from what we call retrograde amnesia."

I ran the term through my head quickly but came up with nothing. "And what's that?" I asked.

Dr. Green Eyes scratched his left ear as he spoke, "It is a form of amnesia resulting from trauma to the head or brain. We think after you were hit by the bullet, you fell and hit your head rather hard on the pier, accounting for the amnesia. With this type of memory loss, you probably won't remember much before the incident and you may never remember exactly what happened during the trauma."

My mind raced as I took in what he said, "So will I regain my memories of before the accident?" I asked frantically.

"Well, most people regain most of their memories prior to the trauma but it will take some time. Don't expect it to all come rushing back. You will probably get bits and pieces back at a time, usually triggered by a sight or a sound or a smell. Don't push yourself too hard to put everything back together. It will all come back over time, just try to be patient." Dr. Green Eyes explained to me as if he was talking to a child. He was starting to irritate me; I liked the Shawn character better. I glanced over to him, he was standing quietly in the corner of the room and I couldn't explain it but I felt as if something wasn't right and he was hardly ever that still. It took me a minute to realize Dr. G.E. was talking again and I pulled my eyes away from Shawn, "Don't be surprised if you do remember some people or things from before the accident either large or small, which has been known to happen as well.

As the doctor finished speaking three new people rushed into the room, all panting and out of breath.

"Hey Shawn we got here as fast as we could," an attractive black man said once he had regained his breath. He almost seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't place him.

"Juliet, are you okay?" an older man asked me. For some reason his name was on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't figure out what it was. That's strange, he usually calls me O'Hara, not my first name. I thought, out of the blue.

"Yes, thank you I'm fine, my head hurts a bit though," I explained, chuckling a little. Everyone else in the room gave polite smiles or small laughs.

"Take as much time as you need Detective, we're not expecting you back for awhile, and everyone at the station sends their regards and well-wishes." A pretty older blonde woman said to me.

"Thank you Chief Vick," I responded before realizing I knew her name. "Interim Chief Karen Vick!" I exclaimed loudly, "You just had a baby girl last year named Holly. I remember!" I smiled, deep down knowing that everything would be okay.

TBC Sorry this is a really short chappie but the next one will be better I promise and we'll get a better look at this "Shawn Character" lol. Please review I live for constructive criticism!


	3. Hannah the Housekeeper

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych or any of the characters there-in, or Nancy Drew, also the title is from a Nat King Cole song by the same name although the plot is all my own! Sorry in advance if the characters seem a little OOC, I tried to have them react like I felt they would, anyway please read and review.

-Libby :)

Oh! Quick shout-outs to:

raindropsX- Thank you

PsychFan81692- Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last

Nyxelestia- Keep looking forward to that Shawn angst, it's coming full force soon!!

Saucy-Duck- Right on the money, with your prediction, enjoy

LV-chan- I'm not sure what kind of flashbacks I'll be including or not, but in this chapter you'll see Jules is starting to remember certain things. You'll just have to wait and see what happens next!

PsychiatricPatient103- Thank you! I'm glad you like the story so much!

The Very Thought of You

"Thank you Chief Vick," I responded before realizing I knew her name. "Interim Chief Karen Vick!" I exclaimed loudly, "You just had a baby girl last year named Iris. I remember!" I smiled, deep down knowing that everything would be okay.

Dr. Green Eyes, who I later found out, was really named Dr. Wiley, let me go home after three very long and boring days in the hospital. The one bright spot in my day was when Shawn came to visit and entertain me. He joked around about being a psychic and gave some pretty accurate predictions for the hospital staff. I'm not sure though, I don't believe in psychics and his antics seemed a little more on the observational side rather than visions from the "spirit world." But I'm not sure; it might just be the amnesia.

Shawn came to pick me up from the hospital on the day I was allowed to leave, and as I got into his car I couldn't help but feel anxious and apprehensive, after all, what was my life really like? I still couldn't remember. I mostly stared out the window on the ride back "home," my mind working overtime to try and recollect anything I could. Shawn was anything but quiet during the ride. He bounced in his seat, changed the radio station a dozen times and tried to get me talking. I felt bad, he was trying to make me feel better but all I wanted was some peace and quiet to sort out my thoughts. Luckily the ride back wasn't too lengthy and I was able to appease him with some short noncommittal answers.

Before long, we pulled up to a nice, simple white condominium with a cute lawn and a few scattered trees. I could feel a slight tug at my heart and knew deep down that this was home. I grabbed my amassed collection of balloons, flowers and other small gifts and waited while Shawn came over to my side of the car to open the door. A quick thought ran through my head about how polite he was and how his father had raised him well before it disappeared and I had time to address it.

Shawn was still in his nervous bouncy state as he tried to grab some of the flowers and not jostle me too much. I don't think he felt he could get inside fast enough. As soon as I entered the foyer I was met with a big, black, furry bundle of joy. I smiled as she got more and more excited with each passing second.

"Shawn?" I called out when he disappeared down the hallway.

"Yeah, Jules?" He answered as he walked back towards me sans flowers.

"Is this our dog?" I asked gesturing to the giant ball of fur that didn't seem to stop shaking.

"Yeah," he answered in a guarded tone as if he wanted to test me. He watched my interaction with her silently for a few seconds.

"What's her name?" I finally retorted, irritated that he was staring at me like some kind of strange experiment. He cocked his head to the side before he answered.

"How'd you know it was a her? You're right but how did you know?" Shawn questioned.

"I don't know it was a lucky guess." I said, but inside I just knew the dog was female. Her name was on the tip of my tongue but for the life of me I couldn't remember her name anymore than I could remember anything about Shawn.

His eyes narrowed at me before speaking, "Her name's Hannah. You named her after…"

"After Hannah, the housekeeper from Nancy Drew!" I exclaimed looking at her, cutting him off abruptly in the process. I was glad I could finally remember something from my old life. When I looked back up at Shawn he had a small half grin on his face, almost as if he was proud of me for remembering that one silly detail. And as much as I hated to admit it, I was proud of myself too.

Two hours later, Shawn and I had put away all of my gifts from the hospital, fed Hannah, walked her and were finally relaxing on the couch. At first Shawn sat right next to me and swung his arm across the back of the sofa. I tried not to, but I couldn't help but flinch a little when his hand brushed against the back of my neck. I still wasn't completely comfortable with him, fiancé or not. After my reaction, Shawn stood up and moved further away from me on the couch. I didn't mean to, but I could tell I had hurt him. 'Again' I amended in my head, and I realized I didn't want to hurt him, because seeing him in pain caused me pain.

Trying to move past the awkward situation in the room, Shawn starting speaking again, but I had missed the first part of the conversation and had to ask him to repeat it.

"I was saying, Dr. Wiley asked me to sort of quiz you on some stuff to see what you can and can't remember. If you're up for it now I mean." He trailed off at the end and I gauged his reaction. I was really tired, but I also wanted to see that look he got on his face when he was proud of me. That look was a step for me to righting my life again.

"I've always been pretty good at quizzes, well; at least I think I was." I laughed a little to myself before continuing on, "please, quiz away Shawn." He looked pleased and took my hands in his to help me off the couch.

We ended up in what I realized was our bedroom. I sat on the bed and waited while he rooted around in our closet for something. Before long he came out holding a pair of ordinary tennis shoes. I must have been giving him a strange look because he cleared his throat and explained what the quiz was.

"Dr. Wiley wants me to write down the results for these simple tests to see how you remember things that are part of your everyday routine." He plopped down on the bed and watched as I took off my hospital slippers and attempted to put on the sneakers. After I got the shoes on came the hard part, tying the laces. I tried and tried to tie the damn things but I couldn't remember what to do. Even after Shawn helped me a few times, I still couldn't get it down right. It was like my fingers were lead weights when it came to the stupid laces. Shawn must have noticed my frustration because after ten minutes or so he gently took the evil shoes out of my hands and led me to the living room. He brought my gun out soon after and told me the next test was to dismantle and re-mantle my gun. As soon as I looked at the gun I knew I was going to fail this test, but to my surprise my hands moved as if they had a mind of their own. After I finished, I looked over at Shawn who had a huge smile on his face. It must have been contagious because I could feel my cheeks moving to smile as well. He was proud of me again, and I loved how it felt.

"Okay, final test," Shawn said as we entered the kitchen together. I'm not sure what it was, but I could feel a pit in the bottom of my stomach as soon as we entered. "Now, it's time for you to cook something. How about, hmm, Beef Wellington?" Of course Shawn said the Beef Wellington part in a British accent with raised eyebrows which made me laugh. He could always make me laugh. I started hunting around the kitchen for the necessary ingredients and tools but grew frustrated again when I couldn't find exactly what I was looking for.

"God Shawn, this place is like a foreign country to me!" I shouted, exasperated at my failed attempt to do something as simple as cooking. I looked over to find Shawn doubled over with laughter. I of course found nothing funny about the situation and demanded he tell me what was so funny.

"Jules, this one was a trick! You can't cook for anything! The most you've ever been able to do is boil water, and that doesn't always turn out as planned. I never expected you to find anything in here. I'm the one who does all the cooking for us." I finally understood what he found so humorous in the situation and I was irritated to say the least.

"Shawn! I can't believe you tricked me! How mean spirited can you get?!" I yelled, quickly covering my face so he couldn't see my smile starting to peak out. I couldn't help it, with Shawn around no one could stay angry for long. Shawn on the other hand had no idea I was joking and his smile instantly faded as he rushed over to try and soothe me.

"Jules, are you smiling? You faker! You weren't upset were you?! I knew it!" He exclaimed when he realized I was pulling one over on him. Before long, Shawn turned the joking into a tickling match and was currently crowding me into a corner in the living room. Hannah was even joining in the fun by trying to jump up and get in the game herself.

After we calmed down, Shawn went back into the kitchen to make spaghetti and meatballs with a crisp, green salad while I settled myself back down on the couch with Hannah at my feet. For the first time since I had woken up days ago I felt like I was truly home where I belonged.

TBC Sorry this chapter took soo long to get out. Hope you enjoyed a deeper look at Shawn and Jules even if they were slightly OOC (hey I tried). More to come soon! Please review I live for constructive criticism!

-L


	4. ExtenZe

Disclaimer: I do not own Psych or any of the characters there-in, also the title is from a Nat King Cole song by the same name although the plot is all my own! Sorry in advance if the characters seem a little OOC, I tried to have them react like I felt they would, anyway please read and review. By the way this chapter is dedicated to Nyxelestia who has been so sweet and helpful with her reviews. Hope you love this one!!

-Libby :)

Quick shout-outs to:

raindropsX- Thanks for the great review! I hope you like this chapter as much as the last one.

PsychFan81692- Haha when DOESN'T life get in the way? I'm glad you liked the way they interacted. Hopefully it'll come through the same way in this chapter. Enjoy!

Nyxelestia- You are soo right about the cats! I can't believe I forgot them. Don't worry they'll be mentioned next chapter. Your guesses are right on the money, I really hope you like this chapter. Thanks for the great reviews!!

Saucy-Duck- Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much.

cancat90- thank you!

RavennaNightwind- Don't worry Jules will eventually get her memory back (I think lol) just gotta wait and see. As for the gun, that is exactly what I was thinking; her muscle memory would come into play. Hope you like this chapter!

The Very Thought of You

Dinner was as delicious as it looked and it was a feast after the nasty hospital food. I picked up a magazine that was lying on the coffee table in front of me as Shawn casually flipped through the TV channels before finally settling on the news. I used the magazine as a cover of sorts as I watched Shawn out of the corner of my eye. I definitely had feelings for him, I just wasn't sure of the extent. One minute he could be sweet and bubbly and the next his flirtatious banter would turn serious. Even in the hospital he would joke about our "undying love" as if we were living in the Middle Ages and I was nothing more than a damsel in distress. I'm a cop for goodness sakes! I can take care of myself just fine. Well, except for getting shot in the head it would seem. With Shawn I could never completely tell if he was just joking or if there always some truth to what he said. To make things even more complicated I could barely remember him. Every once in awhile a small fact or idea would flash through my head but I couldn't seem to make any of the thoughts stick.

"Jules?" I looked over to see Shawn was speaking to me. I had zoned off again so it seemed.

"Shawn?" I replied, pasting a smile on my face. He scooted closer to me on the couch and I restrained myself from flinching.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked seriously, though I could tell he was thinking of something amusing; the corner of his mouth was twitching up suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing really," I lied, "just reading." A full blown smirk appeared on his face after I said this, as if he was waiting for just that answer.

"That's interesting, because I've been watching you, and I know you've been watching me." He explained, his eyes sparkling mirthfully.

"I don't know what you're talking about but that's a lie." I countered, "I've been reading my magazine," I continued, unfortunately not even bothering to look at the page I held open on my lap. At this Shawn laughed out loud. In my confusion I managed to look down at the 'article' I was 'reading.' I felt my face flaming in embarrassment.

"So I guess you're looking into ExtenZe male enhancement lotion?" He joked. My face was becoming warmer and warmer by the moment. "Jules, I'm hurt," he continued, "you don't think my _manhood_ is enough for you?" I cringed and instantly shut the magazine, completely mortified to be caught lying as well as looking at something so mortifying.

"Well if the shoe fits Shawn!" I all but shouted in an attempt to save face. He didn't even have the decency to look hurt which just served to enrage me. "I can't believe how big a jerk you can be!" I yelled as I stomped out of the living room. As soon as I entered the bedroom I realized what a baby I was being. Shawn was just trying to make light of a situation, as usual and I took it to heart. 'God Jules grow a thicker skin.' I thought as I sat down on the queen sized bed. Shawn obviously knew me well enough to let me cool down alone before he came in to talk to me, which I was grateful for. I needed some time to think by myself. By the time he came back in I had composed myself and was thankful for the company.

His eyes looked uncertain when he entered the room and I gave him a small smile to know I wasn't still mad. He sat down next to me and gently took my hand in his own.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you Shawn. It's just, I mean, ugh this last week has been the most frustrating of my life, that I can remember." He just continued to look at me and squeezed my hand gently with his own, signally for me to go on. "You can't even imagine how I feel right now. It's like I've been thrown into a time and place that I don't recognize and I'm expected to act like my old self when I don't even know who my old self is. All I want is for my memory to come back so I can keep going with my life but now I'm stuck with baby steps when I'm used to running. I can't even tie my own damn shoe." I pretty much lost it at that point. Every emotion I'd been holding in since waking up in the hospital was let loose in a flood of tears. Instead of backing away like I expected him to, Shawn pulled me in close and let me cry on his shoulder. He rubbed my back in soothing motions and whispered quiet nothings to me. Rather than feeling embarrassed, I felt completely comfortable and loved. I wished I could remember how much I loved this wonderful man.

Some time later we pulled apart and lay back on the bed together, our hands still linked. Even though I couldn't remember my life before the accident I could feel that Shawn and I had grown closer tonight than we'd ever been before. I was tired after my initial outburst and felt my eyes drooping from lack of sleep in a familiar place. The last thing I remembered before drifting off was that I was the luckiest girl in the world.

More to come soon. Please review I live for constructive criticism!

-L.


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